Crystal and the Diamonds
by Hrvatska
Summary: Yeaaah my second fanfic on this site! Crystal's X-Factor Adventure! Reformatted and corrected!
1. Chapter 1

Hey there, my name is Crystal Turquoise and I am 19 years old. This is my story.

A few months ago I had been auditions on the X-Factor...

-A few months ago-

I went into the room, ready for my audition...

"Hey I'm here for my audition," I said.

"Ok," Dermott said, "Go and stand on the big red X, ok?"

"Ok," I said and went over to stand on the X which was there in the studio.

"Hello little girl," Simon said, "And just what is your name?"

"My name is Crystal," I said, proudly.

"Ok Crystal, and what are you going to sing?"

"Abbey Road by the Beatles" I said and I put the Abbey Road CD in the cassete player.

"Great, I love that one," Cheryl said.

I knew the Beatles were a popular band so if I sung one of theirs I'd probably get through.

Anyway I sung Abbey Road and then the audience clapped.

But the judges were less impress!

"Get off my stage you were rubbish," Simon said.

"Yeah you suck man," Louis said.

They both said no except for Cheryl who said yes.

The audience booed as I was voted off.

-End backflash-

So yeah, I was rejected from my audtions.

Now I have to watch X-factor on TV like everyone else. I sat on the couch, watching all the contestants...

"I should be on this competition," I said to myself as I watched them sing.

Suddenly, Dermott came to on the stage and said "Tonight, we will have a triple eviction!"

"Oh no," said the contestants.

"Yes," Dermott said, "Nicola, Storm and Matt, come up to here."

And they did that exactly.

"What is your want?" Matt asked.

"You have all been evict, now LEAVE THIS PLACE!" Dermott shouted, jumping up and down.

"Mamma mia!" Nicola shouted and all three of evicted contestants left the stage, never to return.

Or so they thought.


	2. Chapter 2

-Later that day-

"Hmmm... we should make this show longer, may be," Cheryl said.

"Yes otherwise it will not run into Christmas," Louis said.

"Hey yeah we should make a band out of these contestants and maybe bring someone back from auditions," said Simon.

"Yeah but which one," said Cheryl.

"I dunno... one what is Irish," said Louis.

"LOL shut up Lousi Ireland sucks," Simon laughed and threw his glass of water at Louis.

"Shut your whore mouth simon, thats racsit," Louis screamed and he threw his glass of water at Simon.

"Hahaha ha haha," Cheryl was laughing "You two can stop fighting already? Let's pick one of the contestants to come back as band."

"Hmm... why don't we pick Crystal," Simon said, "She's hot"!

"Yeah I'm for Crystal," Louis says.

"You two have both picked so I will also pick Crystal, let's call her back!" Cheryl said.

=The Next Day=

I woke up to sound of telephones ringing.

"Why can't you just be quiet for once, telephone," I said as I picked it up, "Hello? Who is call me?"

"Is I, Simon Cowell," the voice on phone said, "You have been chosen to come back on X-Factor as a band with the contestants who were vote off on triple eviction yesterday. Report to the X-Factor Studios immeadiatly!"

"Yes ok," I said and I got on my bike and biked to the X-Factor Studios.

(I'm skippin' forward to the part where I got there because nothing happened on the bike ride)

"Hey Crystal," Simon said, "We're making you into the band with these three".

And Matt, Nicola, and Storm came out.

"These are Matt Cardle, Nicola Festa and Storm Lee," Louis said.

"Hello there," I said, "My name is Crystal."

"Hello Crystal," they all said together.

"Go now and practise your band," Simon said, "You are on the next X-Factor auditions."

And so the four of us went into another room.

"Yes, but forsooth! We require a new name for our musical ensemble," Matt said.

"Oh yeah, we need a band name," I said (I knew what matt was talking about cos I learned about Shakspeare in school.)

"Hey why don't we call the band Mamma mia Talia" Nicola said, "That's Italian for X-Factor!"

"No Nicola that's a dumb name for a band" I said.

"Nay Nicola, thou kannst not name us with intrepidation" Matt said, (he's saying the same thing I said).

"I know what to call our band," Storm said, "How about, 'Crystal and the Diamonds'? Because like, you're the Crystal and we are your diamonds."

"OH MY GOD yes " I said, that was a great name. And it put me as the lead singer!

Just then Simon came into the room.

"Hello Simon" I said.

"Hello Crystal do you want to know why we had you chosen?" he asked.

"Yes please" I said.

"Well, here's my advice, don't sing so much, because your singing is rubbish, we only picked you because you're hot."

"Oh my word," Matt yelled, "Simon Coward you should be ashamed from yourself! Treating the female anatomy with such disrespecting manners!""

"How dare you insult me, I will eject you from my Competition if you say such EVER AGAIN," Simon yelled at Matt.

"Nay, I shalt not apologise to such an esquire as yourself, Crystal, Nicola, Storm, let us permeable to another distant location, where we shall practise the melody of music in PEACE IN AND QUIET."

"I agree Matt," I said, but Storm and Nicola were confused because they didn't understand Matt (you should've studied Shakespeare at school you guys.)

"He says we should go somewhere else where Simon isn't," I said to them both, and they agreed.

"Hahahaha, you're becoming quite the cryptographer, Crystal." Matt laughed, and so did I. (he says I'm becoming quite a translator for all you)

And so we went somewhere quiet to get away from Simon and practise in peace and quiet...


	3. Chapter 3

We were now in another room, a nice quiet room, were we could practice without getting interruptions all the time.

"It's good to be in peace and quiet at last," Storm said.

"Yeah this is great," Nicola said.

"So guys," I said, "What song should we do for our show on Startaday?"

"I'm thinking "Walk like an Egyptian" " Nicola said.

"Yeah that's a great idea!" I said, and it was.

"You know that song is historically inaccurate as the acnient Egypiants did not actually walk in that way?" Matt asked.  
"Be quiet Matt," Nicola said, "And practise this song with us."

And so we practisesd the song all throughout the week and it was good.

"We are a great band!" I said, "We can win on X-Factor!"

-On Saturday-

It was Saturday, and now we, Crystal and the Diamonds, were going on stage for X-Factor.

"Winning here we come!" Nicola said.

"Be quiet Nicola we have not won yet," Storm said.

"Hey, here Dermott comes," I said and Dermott came into the room.

"Hello all," Dermott said

"Bonjournol" Nicola said.

"Nicola I do not speak Italian," Dermott said, "Now anyway, you are the time to go onto the stage! Show them what you've made of!"

And so we walked up to the stage.

"And now!" a voice said from the speakers, "Is Crystal and the Diamonds!"

The audience cheered and clapped, and then we sung 'Walk like an Egyptian' and the crowd were totally loving it.

"You guys ROCK!" yelled the crowd.

Then we were finished and the judges rated us 10/10!

"You guys were great," Simon said.

"You are fantastic," Louis said.

"YOU'RE GOING TO WIN X-FACTOR," Cheryl said, and the crowd cheer and clap some more.

Then Dermott came and said the number to vote for us and members of the audience started getting out their mobile phones so they could vote for us, because they loved us so much.

The lights of phones could be seen all through the crowd.

"Wow," said Dermott "This has never happened before, you must all be very proud of yourselves."

"We are," I said.

And we went back to the stage.

We couldn't be happier, we felt like were on cloud seven, floating on fluffy clouds. We were on top of the world.

But all was not as it seemed!

Because meanwhile, One Direction, one of the boybands, were sitting in their room. They had already done their preformancce, and they were soooo jealous of us. You could actually feel the jealousy floating in that room OMG.

"I hate these Crystal and the DIamonds," Liam said.

"Yeah we need to dispose of them somehow," Zayn said, leaning back on the bed.

"Yes but how," Harry chirped in.

"They must be gotten rid of somehow," Niall said.

"We must smash them" said Louis (the one from Oen Direction not the judge LOLL)

"I know how you can do it," a voice in the shadows said in Brazillian accents. It was Wagner.

"I can get into the zoo and release a lion," Wagner continues, "It will dispose of this pesky 'Crystal' and her precious Diamonds ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

And they all laughed evilly, content with their wicked plans.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey you did great back there Crystal" Storm Lee said to me.  
"Thank you Storm," I said, "You all did great to, I am very proud of you all"

"Thank you, my lady," Matt said, "Thou arts a beautiful perludant Crystal hanging faintly in the night sky."

"Why thank you Matt," I said.

Suddenly, Nicola came running into the room.

"Hey you guys One Direction and Wagner are missing from the X-Factor House we must find them quick they are not any where!" he shouted.

"Oh nO!" I yelled.

"We must finding them post haste!" Matt yelled.

Meanwhile, Wagner and One Direction were in the zoo, looking at the lions.

"That looks like a strong one" Zayn pointed at the biggest lion, "Take that one and we will crush Crystal and her diamonds."

"Yes" Harry laughed in menacing tone, "We will destory Crystal ha ha ha ha"

They were evilly laughing and Wagner got a gun thing with darts that put lions to sleep and shot one of the lions.

"Well let's take this lion," Wagner said and he put the lion in a bag and going back to X-Factor Studio.

Meanwhile, we were all in the greenroom waiting for the vote off.

"Hmmm..." I was thinking, "Maybe I could get with Nicola or Matt.. . hmmm..."

But I was thinking out loud and Storm was behind me and he heard me.

"What about me then?" Storm smiled.

"Yeah," I said, "Definetly," and he smiled to me. I'm not sure if I meant it because I'm like 19 and he's like 30 but I don't wanna hurt his feelings or nothing cuz I'm not a total bitch!

Dermott came into the room.

"Come on," Dermott was pacing up and down the room, "Where are One Direction and Wagner"

"I don't know no one has seen them," I said.

"The show must go on, with or without them" Nicola said, "They suck anyway"

"Nicola, thou art but a hindrance in my visage!" Matt yelled.

"What?" Nicola and Storm where confused again. Looks like a job for Crystal-translator!

"He says stop saying mean things about One Direction and Wagner," I said.

"Oh ok," Nicola said, "Mamma mia Matt, why can't you talk normally?"

"I tumbled back through the dimensional-temporal transistor and temporarly fell back into this, the present day. Forsooth thou siehst! I am not from this time!" Matt yelled.

"What?" Storm asked.

"He says he is from the past," I said, "Matt it's not good to be in a different time than your own."

"Ah, my lady," Matt said, "I have but adjusted to this temporal drift of mine!"

"This is all because Belle Amie were trying to build a time machine so they could get popular and more votes," Nicola said, and he was right.

A few days before Matt showed up to audition, Belle Amie had built a time machine so they could go back to the past and put happy drugs in the judges water so that they'd say yes to them.

"I wonder whatever they were thinketh?" Matt said, "They're time dimensional travelling created a temportal wormhole and sucked me from the past into the future! Or present... rather."

"After we've won this competition," Nicola smiled, "We could get Bella Amie's time machine and Matt can return to his own time!"

"Shouldn't they be practising for the competition," Storm said, "You know, instead of building a time machines."

"They have a time machine Storm," I said, "They can go back into the past and pracist."

Suddenly, Dermott came back in the room.

"Crystal and the Diamonds," he said, "Is time for going to the front stadium."

And we all went to the stadium where elimination was to be held!


	5. Chapter 5

Meanwhile, Diana Vickers was sitting in the X-Factor House when suddenly the Red Hot Chili Peppers jumped out from the window.

"DIANA" yelled Kiedis, "YOU STOLE FROM OUR SONG"

"No I didn't," Diana said.

"YES YOU DID" Flea yelled, "YOU STOLE FROM UNDER THE BRIDGE"

"YEAH" said Kiedis "SO WE'RE SUEING YOU NOW"

"Noooo" Diana yelled, "Don't sue me."

"Ok," Kiedis said, "But you have to be our slave and do whatever we say."

"Ok," Diana said.

Meanwhile, Wagner and One Direction were walking through the crowd with their bag.

"We will get it to wake up by Crystal and the lion will eat them," Wagner said, but he didn't notice that the lion had slipped out of his bag and was now sleeping by the audience!

Wagner and One Direction went to the stage.

They noticed that Wagner's bag was empty now.

"Wagner where is lion" Harry said.

"FORSESTIA!" Wagner screamed (that's some swear in Brazil), "The lion is escape!"

The crowd were making loud noise and the lion woke up and was now roam the audience.

"The first act who is safe is... Crystal and the Diamonds!" Dermott said.

The audience cheered and so did we.

"YEAH WE WIN" I said.

Dermott also read out Wagners name on the safe list and Simon Cowell was annoy!

Then some other stuff happened and someone got voted off but it wasn't us so who cares.

"Oh yeah," said Dermott, "We've got Michael Buble perform for us."

"Eh!" Michael Buble jumped on the stage, "I dunno what you're talkin' aboot. Now who wants to hear me sing, eh?"

The crowd cheered, but suddenly, their cheers turned into scream!

The lion was attacking the crowd.

The doors to the stadium were old and rusty, so they were hard to open.

But that didn't matter because Belle Amie had locked them anyway.

People got tossed this way and that and the lion spared no one in the crowd.

"Oh shit," Michael Buble said, "I'm gettin' outta here."

"Hey you can come with us" I said, and he did (hell yeah michael buble came with us).

So we were all sitting in the room and we barricaded the door.

"Hey what about the crowd," Storm said.

"There's loads of them," Nicola said, "That should keep the lion busy for a while."

"Nicola Festa, you art transforming into quite the thorn in mine attire!" Matt yelled.

"Nicola, Matt says you're annoying," I said.

Meanwhile, Belle Amie were laughing in their room, as it was they who had locked the doors (they didn't know about the lion though, they're not THAT bad)

"Hahahaha," Sophia and Esther laughed.

"Haha, now that they are locked in," Geneva said, "We can time travel with ease!"

And Belle Amie got the time machine from under the bed.

"Hey lets go to World War Two," Rebecca said.

"Yeah lets do that," Geneva said and they went to World War Two.


	6. Chapter 6

==Meanwhile in the past==

It was World War Two and Churchill was doing important stuff.

Suddenly, a portal opened.

"OH NO" said Churchill as he was sucked inside and to the present day.

Also in the sky there were some German bomber planes and they got suck in too.

==Present Day==

And so the planes were now flying over present day London, dropping bombs and London was all getting blown up and shit.

One of the bombs hit Big Ben and it exploded into pieces of clock.

"London's getting blown up and shit" said Boris Johnson, the president of London, "I'm leaving this craphole" and he got on a plane and flew to Spain.

-Meanwhile, in the X-Factor studio.-

"Hey do you hear that noise" said Nicola Festa.

"Yeah it sounds like guns or something eh?" Michael Buble said

Suddenly I looked out the window and there were all German bombers in the sky.

"This is all Belle Amie's fault," I said.

"Yeah looks like they've summoned planes from World War Two," Nicola said.

"What's World War Two?" Matt asked, because he didn't know what that was.

"It's like some thing where all countries dropped bombs on each other, I dunno I wasn't pay attention on History class." I said.

"But it's not history for me," Matt said, "Thy lady, for me, it is the FUTURE!"

"I'm going back to Italy," Nicola said, "This country sucks ass"

"I want to leave for here anyway I'm not even Brit I'm Croatian,"

"Croatia sucks" said Michael Buble and I made sad. (omggggg i love you michael why did you say coratia sucks we love youuu)

Anyway yeah suddenly some buildings blew up and London was turning into like that London in the blitz.

Meanwhile, Churchill was walking down the road in London.

"You German menace!" Churchill yelled at the plane.

But then one of the Germans parachuted out of the plane and got a gun and shot Churchill.

"lol you're dead," said the German and Churchill died.

-Meanwhile, in the X-Factor studio.-

"This place is ridiculous," Wagner said, "I want to go back to Brazil.

"NO" the Queen announced on televisions everywhere, "NO ONE CAN LEAVE BRITAIN NOW! I have personally closed off all the borders. We must fight them on the beaches! We will fight to the last man"

Everyone everywhere was disappointed.

Could this be the end everything?


	7. Chapter 7

Meanwhile, Belle Amie were in World War Two.

"Let's play dodge the bombs" said Esther and they went to the blitz to dodge bombs that were dropping.  
"It is a fun game," said Geneva, but no bombs dropped.

"Where are our god damn bombs" Geneva yelled to the sky.

But they were all getting dropped on presents day England.

Meanwhile, we were all sitting in the room in the X-Factor house, the sound of bombs going off everywhere.

"Hey" Michael Buble said to us, "I own my own private plane, do you want to come with me to Canada?"

"YES!" I yelled, exited.

"I've always wanted to go to Canada," Storm said.

"What the hell Storm aren't you like American or something," Nicola said, "It's only up the road from you."

"Forsooth, whatever ist Canada?" Matt asked.

"It is a country." Michael said, "The country where I am from. The world's best country."

"What about Croatia" I said.

"Croatia sucks," Michael said, "Now come with me." (omg he said Croatia sucks again what the hell man)

And we went into Michael's private jet which was outside.

It had a Canadian leaf symbol on it.

We went inside, but the pilot was no where to be seen.

"Noooo" Michael said "My pilot has ran away.!"

Suddenly, a parachuted pilot came down from the sky.

"It's one of those pilots from the past," I said, "Let's get him."

"Wait," said Michael," and he got a gun from the plane compartment," In Canada we have less stricter gun laws, so we can own a gun. This bazooki will take care of the pilot if he tries anything."

And so we went up to the pilot.

"Ow..." he said, "I zink I von't be trying zat again in a hurry."

"GET UP!" Michael yelled, "GET UP! YOU ARE OUR PILOT NOWW"!"

"Oh nein," he said, "It zeems I am a prisoner of var..."

And so we made him pilot our plane and we took off to the sky.

"So vhere are you going?" the pilot asked.

"Canada!" we all yelled together.

"I cannot wait to lay mine eyes upon this Canada position," Matt said, "Thou art as existest as I, yea?"

"Of course," I said, but everyone else just gave confused looks (looool come on you guys I can't have been the only one on this plane to have stutdies Shakspeare)

The ride was going smoothly, when suddenly, there were German bombers after us!

"Oh shit you guys," I said, "German bombers"

And we all sort of hid behind the seats, but that wouldn't give us much protection for long...


	8. Chapter 8

Suddenly, the German bombers run out of gasoline fuel and crashes into the ground.

"What is even going on eh," Michael said, "This makes no fucking sense."

"Belle Amie have built a time machine," I said, "They have messed with the fabrics of time!"

"Bella Amie..." he said, "You mean... the girl band?"

"Yeah that's them," I said.

"But I like my fabrics of time to stay how they are!" Storm yelled.

"Yes," Nicola said, "These selfish little so and so's are ruining the space time continium for us all!"

"Yea verily," Matt said.

And so we were over the sea which leads to Canada (dunno my Geography either lol sorry)

And so anyway then we were flying high but then Storm said, "Hey, I wonder what happened to that lion?"

Suddenly, the lion jumped out from behind one of the seats.

"OH SHIT!" Nicola yelled, "IT'S GOT ONTO THE PLANE!"

"It's ok, it's ok," Michael said, as he got his Bazooki and blasted on the lion.

"Lion is dead now," Michael said as he threw the lion out of the airlock and it fell into the sea where a shark ate it.

"THat was good," I said, "Thanks, Canadian."

"Thanks you too," he said.

Suddenly, dolphins leaped from the water and attached themselves to the plane.

"Ah, I read about this in a time travel manuel once," Nicola said, "Something is wrong with gravity."

But it's ok because we landed the plane in Canada anyway and the dolphins just sort of jumped off over a pond.

"Well that was good," I said.

"Yeah," Michael said, "At least this place isn't being bombed."

But suddenly, the sky turned black as a black bat against the black night.

We all looked up at it.

"...a great evil is approaching..." Matt said.

"Oh vat is it now," the pilot was annoyed at us taking him.

"Something is wrong with the sky," I said.

I watched the news and the Canadian news said that planes had gone and attacked Britian.

But we knew more, they were from the past.

The also said they found someone dead on the floor, who looks like Churchill.

"OMG, that is Churchill" I yelled, and it was.

"No, no, no, NO!" Storm yelled, "It cannot be!"

"Who the hell is Churchill," Nicola said, "I only learn Italian history."

"Churchill is like Mussolini but in Britain instead of Italy," I said (see I'm good at history sometimes!)

"I have not heard of this 'Churchill' person," said Matt, "But I am sensing that he is of a great importance."

And he was right. Of course he was.


	9. Chapter 9

"W...With Churchill dead..." I said, "Germany might win World War Two."

"Oh no!" said Storm.

"YEAAAH!" Nicola said, "Italy was on Germany's side."

"No you switched sides to us." Storm said.

"Croatia was on Germany side for whole way through," I smiled.

"That's nothing to be proud of you stupid Croatian" Michael said.

"wtf Michael stop acting like a Serb and bein' so god damn racist" I said.

"Eh? I'm not being tracist, Canadians can't be racist because all Canadians are half-French and half-British".

"Yeah but French and British are the most racist of them all," I said, "So being both would make you like, a double racist."

"OMG Crystal, stfu," Michael yelled, "I'm not even racist"

"Hey man leave Crystal alone," Storm said.

"Yeah stop being mean," Nicola said to Michael. (omg see? my band stands up for me)

"Anyway... back to our original talking topic... without Churchill... Britain loses war, yes?"

Suddenly, on the news, some people on England started turning into Nazis.

"See look they're turning into Nazis because Britain lost the war now." I said.

"This will spread to here eh." Michael yelled, shocked, "We should go back to the plane."

"We should go... to Croatia!" I said happily, "There we will have VICTORY!"  
"lol shut up i'm not going to Croatis" Michael Buble says, "I not like them.""

"MICHALE OMG" I yelled annoy, "i'm SICK and TIRED of you flaming CROATIA wtf man"

I took the bazooki in my hands.

"I took this from you Buble!" I yelled, and pointed it at him.

"AAAAAAAH! WAIT WAIT WAIT! NOT SHOOT!" Michael put his hands in the air in surrender.

"You can't shoot Michael Buble dude," Storm said, "He's awesome. Don't do it Crystal."

"Ok," I said.

And we all went back to the plane.

"Hey you guys..." the pilot said, "You can't lock me in zis plane..."

"WE CAN DO WHATEVER OUR PLEASING," I yelled, "Now fly to Croatia!" (I know I should'nt have been so angry and mean to our pilot but that Canadian guy just pissed me off)

"I'm not going to god damn Croatia!" Michael yelled.

"Then get out from our plane" I said.

"THIS IS MY PLANE!" Michael Buble shouted, "I was the one who even to suggesting this! OMG!"

"Please marsupials," Matt said, "Calmeth down, please, we must forbade together if we are to dismantle our enemy."

"But Crystal here doesn't want to 'dismantle the enemy'," Michael Buble said, "She wants to go and collaborate with them!" (wtf Mmichael i didn't even say that you lying hoser)

"hey she didn't even say that, you stupid Canadian," Nicola said, "I'm sick of you now. Let's open the air lock and let him out."

"Ve cannot do zis, I am afraid," the pilot said, "We are already flying high to the sky."

"Wow," Storm said, "You are a good pilot, I didn't even notice we were flying."

"Danke," said the pilot (thats German for thank you lolll)

"God Canadian what is your problem" I said.

"I don't have a problem, Croatian," Michael said, "It was you who implied the problem having of me."

"lol stfu hoser" I turned and read my magazine which is about why Croatia is so cool and why all other yugoslavia SUCKS ASS. (yeah you heard me serbia)

Anyway yeah the plane landed and we were in Croatia.

"Finally" I said, and looked out of the window, and there, was my homeland.


	10. Chapter 10

"Wowee we're finally on Croatia!" I yelled to the window.

"Wow Croatia so cool." said Nicola.

"Yeah this place awesome," said Storm.

We got out of the plane and Croatians everywhere were celebrate!

They were speakin Croatia so I had to translate for my friends (well except that lousy hoser he's not my friend but i translated for him anyway because i don't want people to think I'm a total dick head or any thing).

"Welcome to Čavoglave" said Marko Perković as he ran over to us (Marko is hero in Croatia and he got rid of many serb in Yugoslav wars)

Suddenly, Serbians attacked the village were we were.

"KAW TALOR KOR" the Serbians were yelling gibberish stuff and hitting buildings and all that.

"Fucking lousy Serbs" Marko yelled, and he got out a flamethrower.

"Flamethrower so cool," I said, and Marko flamed at the Serbs and they ran a way.

"Croatia victoryy!" I said.

"I like youu Crystal," Marko said, "You have true Croatian soul and spirit"

"Hey," Storm said, "What about that time travel thing,"

"Who cares about that now lol" I said (no really, that was ages ago and we're in croatia now. so we win. no one cares about what happened in world war two anyway)

"Yeah shouldn't we fix what happened because Churchill is dead now" Nicola said.

"wtf Nicola I thought you didn't want to" I said.

"Well yeah not me personally but you know I don't want the world taken over by Nazis or nothing," Nicola said.

Suddenly, German bombers were in the sky.

"Oh what the fuck," i said.

"those are Messershit bombers" the pilot said, he had come out with us from the plane.

"I don't want them bombing Croatia," I said.

"They do not know zis is Croatia," the pilot said, "If it is like you said, time travel, I mean, I did not notice I had gone through time, I thought I was still over London in my time, but it seems I vas wrong"!

Bombs were falling all over the place.  
"Croatia's getting bombed and shit!" I was annoyed very much at this.

"Maybe we should get Belle Amie's time machine and go back to the past and stop Belle Amie from building a time machine" Nicola said.  
"That would create a paradox you fool!" Michael shouted (omg don't call nicola a fool just because your canadian. italians are hot anyway OMGGGGGG)

"Yeah, what Michael said, a paradox would happen," Storm said, (wtf Storm I thought you were on my side)

"Well anyway yeah," I said, "I say we go with Nicola's plan, I mean, things can't get any more worse than what they are now, right?"

"Right." Nicola said.

"So it is agreed," I said, "Come on Storm, Nicola, Matt, Michael, oh and the pilot, what your name is."

"Fritz" said pilot.

"Ok, so we all go back to Britain and we get time machine and we fix time breakage!" I said, and the five of us went back to plane and got ready to fly away.

"You guysss" Marko said, "I want to come with you!" (holy shit a croatian hero wants to come with us. HAHAHA, i'm laughing at that art teacher I had once who said i would never amount to anything. LOOK AT ME NOW, BITCH)

So anyway the six of us were on the plane and we flew to Britain lol

This was going to be quiet an adventure.


	11. Chapter 11

Meanwhile, there was some stuff shaking in the cargo boxes in the back.

"What's shaking you guys" I said as stuff shook all over the place.

"Fuck" Nicola said, "There's llike beeping stuff back in here!"

"Oh no!" Marko said, "Get back Italian guy, I know what that is" he held up the device

"It's a bomb!" he yelled.

"OH SHIT" Storm and Nicola said at same time and ducked behind the seats.

"Open the air lock" Marko said and the pilot pressed a button and Marko threw the bomb out of the window.

And it fell on Serbia! (hahahahaha that's karma for you, bitches)

"That was fuckin' awesome" I said happily, "Marko you're our hero."

"Hooray!" Marko said, as we landed on that space by Big Ben (only big ben wasn't there because it exploded earlier, remember? loool)

"Why's everyone ignoring me eh?" Michael said.

"Because yyou are mean to Crystal," Storm said.

"Yeah stop being mean to her you hoser," Nicola said.

"Don't call me a hoser you yank," Michael growled.

"No I'm Italian, Storm is Yank," Nicola said.

"Shut your Canada-hole for two damn seconds" Marko said, "Shhh... I can hear something from on outside.!"

"Maybe it is evil Serbs after our plane," I whispered.

"No..." Marko said, and he look outside, "They look like same planes from before, planes... German planes?"

I explained to Marko about the time travel thing (but I'm gonna skip that because you know that already)

Anyway yeah, then we got out of the plane and we were in Britain but everyone was Nazis because the time was changing.

"Everyone is turn Nazis" I said.

"Yeah this is most unfortunate," Matt said, "Thou kanst not hold a cradle to my downtrodden and ghost-forsaken times."

Nicola and Storm shot him a confused look.

"He says this is bad, you guys," I said.

Anyway then all whales from the River Tens started die because all the bombs had put pollution in the water. (But no one cares about that, TAKE THAT YOU ECO FREAKS)

So now we had to find Belle Amie and their time travelling machine.

"This is gonna take a while," I said, looking up and down at the destroyed down.

"It shouldn't take such a while," said Storm, "London is only such a small city. Like, if this city was in America, it would be classed as a little village."

"Oh ok," I said, that made me feel better.

And so we went to look for the time machine.


	12. Chapter 12

Meanwhile, Belle Amie were still in World War Two.

"hahaha it's fun to be in World War Two" Geneva laughed, waving the time machine about.

"Hahahaha look at all the countries at war and shit," Esther said.

Suddenly, she pressed the wrong button on the itme machine and it flashed and they all went back to present!

==Present Day==

We were all looking around for the time machine.

"Hahaha it's funny see all London get bomb," laugh Fritz (hahahahaha is funny too)

"We can laugh at that later lets find time machine" I said. (no one heres british in our group so we can laugh at stuff like that. Well except maybe storm he's American and that's kinda like Biritish. But Americans don't like Brits)

So we all looked everywhere for the time machine.

"This is taking too long," Nicola said.

"We are never gonna find with such lousy Croatian in charge" Michael said (why you being racist for? croatians are strong PROUD people. we are pride of lijepa naša domovinooooo)

"Shut up you stupid beaner," Marko yelled with rage, "Fuck off back to Canada".

"Yeah Michael we're not want you here any more," Nicola said.

"Anywayy we should not argument," Storm said, "Is not time for that. Time is for find time machine."

"The temporal transistor shalt be somewhere locked in the vicinity," Matt said.

Suddenly, we saw Belle Amie standing about with the Time Machine.

"Give back that time machine you," I said, and took time machine from them.

Belle Amie all ran away.

There was some buttons and they all read shit like "Greek Times, Egyptian Times" and stuff but one said World War Two. (there wasn't a button for the first one cos no one cares about that one)

"Alright you lot, let's go to World War Two and fix this mess!"

And I push a button and we teleport on World War Two.

"YEAAAH WORLD WAR TWOOOO" I said and London was all getting blitzed and shit.

"Ok guys," Storm said, "This is before all the planes got suck away, we must find Churchill and make him not dies"

"Ok where is Churchill," I said.

But no one knew.

"We need a god danm Brit in our team you guys" I said.

"No wait I know where Churchill lives," Storm said, "Amertica is like Britian and we learn British HIstory. Churchill lives in Big Ben with all other politician."

We look across the road.

There... was Big Ben!


	13. Chapter 13

We all ran over to Big Ben.

"Bong" the clock was chiming everywhere.

"Anyway yeah we must go and find Churchill," I said, we were now in the room inside Big Ben. (the room is a secret though not many people knew about it in these days. it was hiding place in the war for important people like churchill and the queen)

"Who is look for me?" ask voice. Is Winston Churchill!

"Churchill!" Nicola said, "You are not die!"

But Nicola was talk on Italian accents!

"Youuu are Itlaian accents"! Churchill scream and he get a silver gun from desk, "You are spyyy!"

And he shot bullets all over the place!

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT," Fritz said, and Churchill heard he German acccent so he made annoy!

"FUcking Germanys" Churchill screamed and he shot his gun bullets faster and holes were all in the walls.

"What in fuck," Marko Perković jumped around and he took out gun from use yugoslav wars and shot Churchill and Churchill fell the ground.

"You have lost Britain the war," Churchill said, "Now Nazis will have take over0!"

And then he died.

"HOLY FUCKING FUCK MARKO YOU SHOT WINSTON CHURCHIILL" I yelled loud.

"Oh no," Storm said, "Now we have to go back on time again and save Churchill again."

"What the fuck you shout at me for?"" Marko yell, "He was going shoot us!"

"Yes but now is dead," I said, "And we have shoot oh no"

And so I press time machine button again and we are back ON TIME AGAIN!

"Ok lets do it right this time," Storm said.

And we went on Big Ben and to the room where Churchill was.

"Hello chap are Churchills present" I put on British accent.

"Youuu are put on British accent," Churchill yell.

"Not this shit again," Nicola said.

"HOLY FUCK ITALIAN SACCENTS" Churchill got his silver gun out again and shot all over the place.

"For fuck sake," Marko said and he shot Churchill again.

"Why I'm even here," Matt ask, "Incompetence looming floats around the corners!"

"Shut the fuck up," Michael Buble said, "Ok with this accent thing, Storm's American, that is close to British, right?"

"I am from British heirarchy," Matt said, "American is not even closing enough to us!"

"Yeah but no one understands what you're saying," I said.

"It's worth a shot, " Nicola said, "We can go back on time and go back and get Matt to do British accents at Churchill. Then will accept!"

"Yes," I said, "Is great ideas!"


	14. Chapter 14

SO we went back on time again!

"We will correction our past mistaking this time," I said and we went to Big Ben again (holy fuck how many times are we gonna do this).

we went to the room where Churchill was.

"Chlurchill!" Matt spoke,"I heil from the British heiraorchy and hast a whimsical experience for you to extradite your journeys on your travelling with us!"

"What the fuck you talking about" Churchill said.

"He says he's British and he want you to come with us," I said.

BUT I WAS TALK ON CROATIAN ACCENTS

"Croatikaaaa" Churchill screamed, "I hateC roatians theya re scums!" (i read in a newspaper today that Churchill was racist so yeah)

"I hate you too Britian," I said, "mARKO get your gun!"

"No," Marko said, "We cannot keep shooting Churchill."

But then Churchill got his gun out again.

"Get back or a shooting of youu!" Churchill yelled.

"Holy fucking shit," Fritz said on German accents.

"HOLY FUCKING GEMRNAY" Churchill held his silver gun up again and shot the placce up holy shit.

"This is stupid," Storm said, "Churchill keeps shooting us all time. We are only try to help."

And then Marko got his gun and shot Churchill again.

"Hole on I'm think of something," Marko say,

Marko was thinking like he was get a plan.

Suddenly, someone went past the place where we were.

"YOU'VE SHOT CHURCHILL" it was England Queen!

"How dare yoiu shot Churhcill he was fine man," said England Queen, "Now Englands will lose warsss!"

"England you have already losty the war" Marko said and he shot England Queen, "HA HA NOW CROATIA IS WIN!"

"Oh no," Michael Buble said.

"Come with mee Crystal," Marko laughing, "We will win wars and Croatia together"

"What the fuck is going on?" Storm asked.

"What's going on is Croatia VISCORTY!" I yell, happy, "Croatia win on wars!"

"Yes," Marko said, "But we must kill Hitlar as he thinkgs Slavs are inferior and we are Slav,"

"Oh yes so to win we must go on times and kill Hitler," I said.

"No!" Fritz yell, "Don't do this!" (he's a german so he likes hitler)

"We must do this for Croatiea fatherland" I said, "Germany will still win war also,".

"Oh ok then," Fritz said.

And so is was agreed. We would make world so Croartian win WOlrd War Two.


	15. Chapter 15

And so I held the time machine but just as I was about to push the 'Germany' button...

"WAIT YOU CORIATNAN!" shout a voice. It was... Joseph Stalin!

He was wear Russian uniform with Russian hat. (but hes not russian he's gerogian lol)

"I want join you and spread Communsim" Stalin said.  
"Hell no I don't like Communism," I said, "I want money and lots the stuff"

Stalin was sadly at this.

"Wait Crystal," Storm said, "We can have Stalin come with us and help us kill Hitler."

"Oh, ok," I said, "Stalin you can come with us."

"Yay!" Stalin was happy and he bounce along the floor like Russian jumping bean.

"Well this good," I smile and we all go back to Germany World War Two.

We were in Dresden and it was getting bombed and shit.

"Dresden'ts getting bombed and shit," Hitler ran out from Reichstag, "I am getting out from here!"

"Not so fast!" I yell, and Marko get his gun and shot Hitler.

"Oh no, my Reiching is ruin," was last thing say and Hitler die

"HAHAHAHA" I'm laugh haha.

"Now Hitler is die," Nicola point from the obvious.

"Oh no," Fritz said, "Is a sad day."

Michael Buble was annoy.

"I'm suick of being taken on your stupid time travel trip," he say, "Fucking sake Crystal , I want go back to Canada."

"SHUT UP BUBLE YOU'RE RACIST," Marko yell.

"No Croatian you shut up I hate Croatians," Michael said. (wtf what we ever done to you?)

"I'll get gun and shots you if you say such ever agains," Marko shouted at the Canadian.

"Now now let's calm down people," Storm said, "Hey wait minute, where's Matt?"

MATT WAS GONE HOLY SHIT

"Where the fuck is Matt?" I look everywhere for him.

But we we not find him!

"Matt you cannot be nowhere!" Nicola yell, "Where Matt you are?"

"I'm not know where Matt is!" I shouted and we all ran about Dresden looking for him.

Meanwhile, Matt was sitting in the Riechstag taking important documents.

"I cannot have them cause the losing from Britain to this conflict most foul!" he said, stuffing dockuments in his pocket (he doesn't want britian to lose the war cos he's a brit, ok?)

And he took these documents away.

"Now to fly to Britain and get Britian winning from the war!" Matt Cardle laughed as he snuck into the Luftwaffle building and into a plane under the moonlight.

But.. he'd need a pilot!

"I'll get Fritz..." he thought, and he got out from plane, and went to look Fritz...


	16. Chapter 16

I looked around.

Fritz was sitting with us.

"You know I know this city," Fritz said (well duhhh everyone on Germany knows that city)

"Yes I know this city too," Nicola said, "Evil Brits put the bomb onto it until all civilians die."

"Yes it was a bad thing," Storm said, "It makes me ashamed to call myself American."

Anyway we all agreed that Brits bombing Dresden and shit was a bad thing... but suddenly...

Matt was hiding in the trees and Fritz went past a tree!

Matt grabbed Fritz and pulled him into the bushes and into a huge bag.

"Aaaah!" Fritz yell as Matt runs away with Fritz in a bag.

We saw Matt running away.

"I will make sure British Empire concedes the victory, apologies my lady, I must do what must be done!" Matt yelled, running off.

"Oh nein!" Fritz said as Matt pulled them both into the plane.

"You will pilot plane and go BRITIAN!" Matt yelled.

"Nein," Fritz said.

"Do it or I will try ffly and I will crash plane because not know how to," Matt said.

"Ok, I do, I do," and Fritz pushed a button and plane started up.

We all ran to where plane were.

"MATT STOP!" Storm yelled, but the plane flew away.

But in the darkness, they did not see cliff and it crashed!

"AAAAAH!" Matt and Fritz both yell and plane exploded.

"HOLY SHIT! MATTT! FRITZ!" I scream with tears, "NO!"

and we run to place where plane is.

"Help..." Fritz say as we run to wreckage.

Plane was in pieces everywhere and smoke was coming out.

"Crystal..." Matt sob, "I sorry..."

And they both make die!

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT" I scream, kicking the ground, "Why are our friends dying! THIS IS NOT FUCKING ALOOWED GOT DAMN IT"

Thunder and lightening crashed together in the sky as I knelt down and cry for our fallen friends.

This was not how I wanted signing up on X-Factor to turn out.


	17. Chapter 17

-A few day later-

We decide to stay for funeral. It was least we could do. It was raining and thundering.

"Earth to ash, ashes to ashes" (omg I love that song and David Bowie is fit), "here we are today. Matt Cardle and Fritz Mannheim are dead. Amen." said the funeral man.

We all stood around sadly and cried (except Marko cos he never really knew them and Michael Buble cos he's bein a prat)

But suddenly...

"I'm sad too," Michael also made crys.

See? A sad day.

"You know," Storm said with sadness, "I miss them lot. BUT, we have a Time Machine!"

"Yeah!" Nicola said, "I'm sure in future they have built something to bring people back from dead! Let's go future!"

"Exactly," Storm said.

"You people go," Stalin spoke up at last (he's a silent type guy 3) "I will stay and take care of the past. You, go to the future. It is your calling. Save your friends, you have saved the future people from Russia. It's least you deserve."

I smile, Stalin was great friend of ours now, but here he must stay, as this is his time.

And so I push button and we all go future.

There were cars fly and there were alien spaceships in the sky and the city was all getting bombed and shit.

There was a sign, it read "New York."

"NOOOO!" Storm yelled, "Not New York! This is my home!"

"Sorry Storm," I said, "But remember it's only future New York, your home is fine."

"Of course," Storm smiled.

We went into a future shop.

There were swastikas everywhere cos Germany won world war two.

"Hey can we have some stuff to bring back dead people," I said to shopkeeper.

"Why you want," he ask.

"Our friends make die," I said with sad sadness.

"Get over it," he say and turn away.

But then he turn, "no hold on second, we have but it is 1 million dollar."

But then Marko get a gun!

"GIVE IT US TO NOW!" Marko scream and shopkeeper give us the special solution in a jar.

"Go and put on your dead friends and they will join back the living," he say.

We turn and leave the shop and stood outside.

"Here we come, comrades," I say and we go to the past world war two where our friends lay buried.


	18. Chapter 18

We were on the cemertary and standing over the graves.

Dresden was still getting bombed and shit.

I sprinkled the solution potion on grave and Matt and Fritz reappear back again.

"OMG" Matt yell, "What happen?"

"We went to future and gotten potion to bring you back on life," I smiled at them.

"Yes..." Fritz say, "But why you bring me back? I'm unimportant pilot."

"No," I said, "You're not unimportant. You're importance to us. And your kinda cute, too." I planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Tee hee," Fritz laughed and blush red. (awww so cute omg)

And we had a happy picnic in the cemetary even though Dresden was still getting bombed and shit.

"Stop bombing Dresdents you lousy Brits!" Fritz shouted at the sky where British planes were.

"We should stop these Brits," Nicola suggest (yeah you sutpid Brits stop bombing Dresden)

"NO!" Matt yelled "Thou kanst NOT make stopping the Britans! Britian is strong empire sea national! RULE BRITAINIA BIRTANA RULE THE WAVES"

"Matt I do not like you," Marko said.

Suddenly, Stalin ran over to us.

"I see you brought your friends back from dead!" Stalin clapped for us.

"Yes," I smile, "We did a good job."

"Indeed you did, here, have this medal," and we all got medals from Stalin.

"We save USSR from invasion the west and also Germany to winning the war and victory Crotaisn," I smiled, my gold medal glowing golden glow.

"WHAT YOU TALKIN' ABOOT! BRING ME BACK ON CANADA, YOU PROSTITUE WHORE" Michael Buble yelled.

"Buble calm down," Storm said.

"NO I WANT BACK CANADAS" Michael yelled.

"You will NEVER go back to Canada," Stalin laugh, "I will turn Canada the COMMUNISM!"

aND we all sat about while Michael Buble and Stalin had a punch fight.

"Who you think will win/?" Nicola ask.

"I putting mine bets oneth Joseph Stalin," Matt said, "Russian stronger than Canadian."

"Yes but America is stronger than both," Storm said, "America world superpower."

"Not any more Storm we changed the history of world," I said.

"Oh no," Storm said, "But America must super power."

"NO!" Marko yell, "CROAITA IS SUPERPOWER NOW"!

"Yes!" I shouted happy, "Croatia is strong nation and best."

"Yes," Stalin agreed as he hit Michael Buble down to floor, "Croatia strong slavs and must Communist!"

"COMMUNIST?"!" we all shout confuse.

Oh no! Stalin was going to make world on the Communist!


	19. Chapter 19

Stalin start talk of how great Communism was.

We were worry of Stalin turning Croatia onto Communist in the future.

Marko got gun ready.

"Nooo," I said, "We cannot shoot Stalin, he has be so good to us."

"Yeah don't shoot Stalin," Storm said, "Haven't you done enough shooting on today?" (Storms a christian so he doesnt like shooting people0)

Marko was annoy!

"I will shots whoever I please," he YELLED!

"No," I said, "I like Stalin don't shoot him."

"But Stalin will make World Communist when we want Mussolini," Nicola said.

"Yes well... why don't we dump him on the future?" I said, "We don't have shoot and he will not endanger us with COMMUNIST SOCIETY."

"I do not like idea..." Stalin began but I grab him and take him to future.

"This future yours now," I say to Stalin before we leave and go back to past without Stalin.

"Ok that good," I said ,"No problem of Communism so let's go back to present and win on X-Factor!"

"Yeah but London will still be getting bombed and we cannot X-Factor when bombs," Storm said.

"Then thou must dissident the bombs onto an external radius!" Matt said.

Everyone look at us, confuse.

"He says we must move bomb planes away from Londons," I said.

"I can't bothered," Nicola said.

"And I like bomb over London," Fritz said, "Is funny because world war Two."

And Fritz have laughter at London get bomb.

"Serves you Brits right for bombing Dresdents," Fritz laughed. (hahahaha shouldnt have bomb dresden should you dumb brits)

We sat around for a while, watching London get bomb (time machine makes force field around all us so we dont get a bomb, in case you are wondering)

The sun was set and we stood around in the red city, we were truly best of friends (except that lousy hoser cos he's still being annoying)

"We should do something for poor British," Storm said.

"Yes I am from Brits and thou kannst do something" Matt said sadly.

"NO!" Marko yelled, "THEY DESEVRE IT FOR DRESDENTS!"

This would be a big decsion.

Should we save Britian or let it get bomb because Dresden?

It would be much to think...


	20. Chapter 20

"Ok," I said finally, "Let's have a vote. Who wants to let Britian get the bomb because Dresdents?"

"Yes I do," said Marko.

"Britain deserves to have bomb!" Nicola said.

"Yes Britain have done no thing for us, let them have fire," said Michael Buble.

"Yes I hate Brits," Fritz said, and he put his arm around me and I giggled.

"Hee hee. Ok," I said, "and who wants to save Britan"?

"I do," said Matt.

"Ok, I also vote to let them have bomb, so it's four to one (loool yes democrasy (also that is score britain lost world cup to 4-1)) so what about you Storm"? I asked.

"I'm sitting on the fence on this one," Storm said, "I don't like Britain getting bombed but on other hand they sort of deserve it for bombing onto Dresden."

"Ok," I said, "Either way, we still win anyway."

"God damneth es!" Matt said.

I laughed, holding the time machine in my hands, but suddelny...

One Direction and Wagner ran out into the street where we were.

They stood there on the path way.

"That's... oh no!" Storm said, "Not you lot again! Wasn't the lion bad enough?"

"The lion was only the BEGINNING!" Wagner roared and One Direction laughed (they sounded like on of them laughing tracks).

Then, they started running down the street!

They were running straight towards us!

"QUICK!" Wagner yelled, "Get that thing they're holding, it's Belle Amie's time machine!"

"Will do sir," said Zayn from One Direction and he ran into me and I dropped the time machine onto the floor.

"Aw shit," Nicola said as we all flashed bright colours and everything went black.


	21. Chapter 21

"Crystal... Crystal wake up," a voice said. It was Storm.  
"Storm where are we," I said, getting up from the grass.

"I'm not know," Storm said, looking around.

"We're in the Roman Times," said Nicola, "Look there's a sign over there on Latin. I can read it because I'm Italian, it says Welcome on Rome."

"Oh ok," I said, "The Roman Times are boring, let's go back to Londo... the time machine!"

THE TIME MACHINE WAS GONE HOLY SHIT

"Oh no!" Matt yelled, "Forsooth! Wherever kannst es be? And where are Michael and Marko?"

"And where's Fritz!" I said sadly.

We walked down the forest path until we saw a Gladiator Stadium!

"Let's go in there," I said.  
"No Crystal," Storm said, "If you thought the lion in the X-Factor was bad in there there are a whole bunch of them."

"Storm you are not a lion expert," Nicola said, "In Italy home, lion fighting is a national SPORT!" (it's true just like in spain they have cow fighting)

"Have you done lion fighting then?" I ask.

"No," Nicola said, "I cannot fight lions, you silly girl!"

"Forsooth thou mussen thy will, to go inside!" Matt said.

Nicola and Storm looked confused.

"He says we would be taking a great risk to go inside," I translated.

But then, we heard a voice coming from inside the Stadium!

It was Wagner!

We ran inside the stadium.

"I am Emperor Wagner now," Wagner laughed, he was sitting on a golden throne in the middle of the stadium, "This means I shall COMMAND and CONTROL you."

We were watching down from the stands.

Julius Cesar was on the floor next to him and Wagner kicked him.

"I am sorry I questioned your command Lord Wagner," Cesar groveled on the floor, "I hand over my emporacy to you!"

"I am the new Emperor," Wagner laughed, "Servants, get out to here!"

And One Direction came out dressed in golden uniforms and shit.

"You are my new servents," Wagner said.

"Wagner whyyy,"" Harry said.

"Because you lost me the time MACHIEN," Wagner yelled angrily.

But just then, some Roman Gladiators ran out to the stadium arena.

"Greetings esquire," he motioned.

"Hey," Matt whispered to me, "They talketh just like me..."

"We have to test our new emperors," the gladiator contiuned, "Servants, leave for a while..."

And One Direction all went back to the stadium building and went up to where the audience stands.

"What is test?" Wagner asked.

"Test is... we let loose lions in stadium. If you surive, you get to be emperor. Toodle-pip!"

And the gladiator ran back inside and locked all the doors so Wagner had to stay there.

"Wait WHAT?" Wagner yelled.

"Hahahaha," Nicola laughed, "A taste of his own medicine, I think."

"Ha," Storm said, "It is mean to laugh at such a thing going on."

"Yeah well," I said, "Either way, we're in for one hell of a show..."


	22. Chapter 22

And all lions were circle around Wagner lol.

"Hahahha Wagner," I laughing, "You will have taste from your own medecine now!"

"Nooooo Crystal," Wagner yelled, "Heeeelp!"  
"No Wagner you are evil man," I say.

"Crystal no," Storm said, "We should do something."

"God damn it Storm stop being such a damn Christian and wanting to help people all the time" I said.

But suddenly we notice that the time machine was strapped to one of the lions!

"Aw shit," Nicola said, "How the hell did that get there?"

"Forsooth marsupial," Matt inquired, "You mussen be disheartened by our cheery misfortune.. It is a sign from the very heavens above that we remain on this land."

"Matt if you're not going to make sense then don't talk to us," Nicola was annoyed by Matt's talking.

"He says we must get the time machine back," I said. (and if you learned on school nicola you'd know too))

The lions were all jumping about and shit and Wagner was standing on the golden chair.

"I fucking hate lions," Wagner said, as the lions growled.

"We hate you too, fucking Brazilan," one of the lions said (it was in the past so animals could talk just like in fairy tales such as 'the rabbit races the turtle' and 'little red robin hood')

"Holy crap," Storm yelled, "Talking Lions!"

"Yes," Matt said, "In the past animals could talk. I was surpriseth than when I was in your time, animals had loseth their abilities to make speak!"

"Fucking stop talking and help meee," Wagner said but we ignored him (lol),.

"Fucking British bithch!" Wagner shouted with fury rage, "I knew you wouldn't help me as you are British girll! All British girl the same and you have unprotection sex. You shouldn't have unprotection sex as it could lead to YEAST CONFECTION!" (wtf wagner you don't know nothing about me so you can't sayu that.)

"Ok first that's not ture I'm not helping you because you're bein a twat, I'm not even British anyway I'm Croatiak" I yelled, shouting, "And second, all Croatian's are immune to yeast convections."

"You fucking Croatian whore," yelled Julius Cesar,, who was still stuck down there, "Fukcing hellp us you bitch".

"No," I said, "I will not help you."

"But Crystal," Storm said, "What about the time machine."

"Crystal we need to machine to get to futute." Nicola said.

"Yes but before we have to have Wagner get eated by lions," I laughed, "Is funny."

"Hahahaha," we were laughing at Wagner trying to dodge lions.

"This not funny"! Wagner said as the lions ran in circles around golden chair.

"Is funnt to me," I say laughing ha ha.

But Storm was going down to the stadium arena!

"I will help you Wagner," Storm said.

"STORM WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING?" I yelled!


	23. Chapter 23

"Fucking no Storm," I ran to Storm and grabbed him back to where we were, "No you cannot help Wagner he makes evil."

"But Crystallll," Storm said.

But suddenly, the lions all turned to us.

"I do not like Croatians," said one of the lions (it was a Serb lion).  
"You fucking Serbian lion," I yelled with rage, "Marko, get your gun..." then I remembered Marko wasn't there, "oh where the fuck is Marko?"

Julius Cesar and Wagner laughed.

"Hahahaha," Julius laughing, "It's good to do this not lions without!"

"Hahahahaha also agreed," Wagner said, and they both walked off and went inside the Stadium.

"FUCK YOU WAGNER" I yelled with rage as thtey left Stadium.

"Look the time machine," Nicola said as the lions ran up to where we were.

All the Roman audience were scream and run away but the lions surrounded us so that we couldn't. (This is why i hate animals, expecially vicious ones like lions)

"Nay! This cannot be!" Matt said, as the lions ran around us in a circle, "They're encircle us!"

"No!" I said with sadness, "Why you doing this lions?"  
"Because Serbia must STRONG against you eivil Croatians," the evil Serb lion said. (omg wtf you suck Serbia)

"No," I said, "It is you who is evil. And in the future you Serbians show you true colours, and that is truly bad."

"Fuck you,"" the lion said and it got ready to jump on me!  
"Oh no," I thought!

But suddenly...

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

A man was parachute down from the sky.

BANG!

He was shotting the lions and they were dropping dead all over the place.

"Die lions! Hahahaha, mein gott!" a voice yelled, it was Fritz.

"Fritz!" I yelled happily as he ran up to me and I hugged him, "It's great to see you again."  
"You too..." he smiled.

"Where is Marko?" Nicola asked.

"I don't know," Fritz said, "I have his gun though. It was next to me when I woke up. Then I found this parachute and decided to look for him..."

"What about Michael Buble?" Storm said.

"Who cares about him hes a twat," I said, "And he's always bein racist at me. It's no way to treat an X-Factor contestant."

"Yeah but he could be in trouble or anything," Storm said.  
"Storm SHUT YOUR MORALS," I said, "I do not wish you to paraphase the bibles! We are no go look for Buble. He is mean to me."

Then, I looked down to the floor.

"No... oh no no no!" I yelled, "The Time Machine!"


	24. Chapter 24

The time machine which had been strapped to the lion had been damaged in the shot explosion and a little bit of liquid stuff had leaked out.  
"What the fuck have you done you lousy Kraut!" Nicola yelled at Fritz.

"Oh mein gott"!" Fritz yelled, "I just saved all your lives, why can't you have grateful!"

"M...Maybe it can still working," I said, looking at it.

It looked only lightly damaged...

"Ok then," Nicola said, "Let's go back to the future, present, whatever to call it."

"Will do," I said, "But what about Marko and Mic-"

"Just go already!" Nicola yelled, and I set the time on present day and pushed the button.

Swirling rainbows went all around and when we woke up, we were in a sand desert.

There was all sand swirling about in the sky and lizards were crawling around in the sand and there was catuses every where.

"Where this?" Nicola said, but then I saw, the Pyramids!

They were triangular sticking out from sand.

"Pryamids!" I yelled, "Yes! These were built by anceint Egypiant."  
"I remember when we did 'Walk like an Egyptian' on X-Factor show," Storm smiled.

"Yeah!" I yelled, "We did great!"  
"We could still do great, if we were back in the presents and not around Egypt!" Nicola yelled.

"Ok ok," I said, and set the time machine to go to present again, "It's not my fault it's damaged."

"Gott damn it!" Fritz yelled, "Stop blaming me you bunch of Brits!"

"No I'm Croatian," I said.

"No I'm Italian," Nicola said.

"No I'm American," Storm said.

(lol take that britian there are hardly any brits on our team that's why we're so good)

"I DON'T CARE JUST STOP BLAMING ME ALL READY," Fritz yelled.

"Ok ok," I said and I pressed the button to go back presents and everything flashed rainbow colours.

We woke up in a rainforest.

"Oh for fuck sake," Nicola said, "That time machine is broken!"

"I know I know," I said, "Maybe I can fix it."

"Nay," Matt said, "My lady, thou hast not the knowledge requirement to make the time machine into fully functionial."

Suddenly, a terrodactyl flew past.

"Oh no," Storm yelled, "Not dinosaur times!"

"What's a dinosaur," Matt asked (they hadn't been discovered in shakespeare times ok? tahat's why shakespeare never write any stories about dinosaurs) (lol don't say you don't learn anything from reading my stories))

"They're big monster things" Nicola explained.

"Ve need to get back to the presents!"! Fritz yelled, "Crystal, whatever happens this is worst place to be, please push button again."

And so I pushed button again and yet again, everything flashed rainbow colours and we teleported to destination unknown...


	25. Chapter 25

"Oh what this place," I got up and asked.

There was binary floating all around and shit. Also there was Foxfire Internet sign floating above us and google search bar.

"OMG," I said, "We're in the internet!"

"Is this.. the future?" Storm ask.

"Nay, peasant," Matt said, "The errors of the time machine have caused us to be treleported into the very fabric lines of the internet!"

"This sucks," Nicola said, "I want to go back to the present. Crystal why can't you work time machine!"

"WTF nicola it was Fritz who shot the machine, blame him."

Suddenly, a computer virus burst through the walls!

"101010101000101000010" the virus said (it's talking binary).

"Quick Crystal!" Storm yelled, "Let's get out of here!"

And so I pressed the button again.

When we woke up we were back in the stadium in Roman times.

"Nooo, not this place again," I said, "I'm sick of this place."

"Ok ok," Nicola said, "If you try really hard you may be able to get us back on the present!"

"NOT SO FAST, DELIGENTS!" laughed a voice, it was Wagner.

"Wagnert!" I yelled.

"No," Wagner said, "I am EMPEROR WAGNER now!"

"Ah shit," I said, (it was because he got away from lionss before so now he is roman emprero)

"Pffttt Crystal," Nicola said, "He's nothing to be scared from! We'll beat him easy!"

But then One Direction came out to also and they said "ha ha Crystal while you have left we have made of the stronger!"

"No" I said, "We have the time machine - ha ha!"

"Ha ha ha ha, no Crystal we saaw it get broken, that doesn't work any MORE!" Wagner boamed.

"NoooO!" Matt yelled, "Thou kannst not this to say! That even with the time machine... WE ARE STILL STRONGER THAN THOU! Crystal Turquoise! Push thine button!"

And so I pushed the button and all light flew everywhere and we transported yet again...


	26. Chapter 26

We were in the past again and there were all Christmas trees with decoration lights.

"We're are we?" I asked.

"We're in... Christmas Time!" Nicola said happy.

"I said where not whenn" I said, but it was hard not to be exite by Christmas Lights!

"Christmas is best time of year," Storm said.

"In Germany we celebrate all Christmas by starting World War," Fritz jumped up exited.

"World Wars are not a good thing,!" Storm said.

"Storm DO NOT lecture us with your morals!" I said as we look around.

We saw in the distance some guy who was looking after sheep and we went over to him.

"Welcome on Christmas!" said the guy as he petted on his sheep.

"Baa" said the sheep.

"What do you mean "Welcome on Christmas?"" I ask, "Christmas is not place?"

"Ah, but this is the first Christmas," the man said, "Over there is born baby Jesus."

"OH MY GOD," Storm said (he's a Christian so he's exited lolol)

"Nooo Storm, we cannot go messing about in Bible Times!" I said, "We might change history and then there would not even be Chrisitmas because it would not EXIST!"

"Oh, ok," Storm said sadly.

"We'll make it up to you," Nicola reassure him, "We promising."

"Naayyyy," Matt sayeth, "We mussen go easteth from hier, thou must in the path that thine taketh!"

"What?" said Nicola, Storm and Fritz (looooooool i understand what he's saying and you don't HA HA HA)

"He says we must go back to the present and stop messing about with the past!" I said.

"Fucking time travel," Nicola said, "I don't even know what day it is!"  
"It's Saturday," Storm said.

"What the fuck why do you know everything" Nicola said , "You see, this is why I hate Americans."

"What the hell Nicola that's so racist," Storm yelled.

"OMG yeah Nicola remember America had to go through 9-11 so you can't insult them," I said, "That's just racist. Also... America put Serbia on their place when they dared attack at STRONG CROATIA"

"Eeep," Nicola said, "Ok then, sorry Storm."

"Ah, it's alright," Storm said.

"We should not be fighting on each other," Fritz said, "Ve should be banding together against evil Brits so we Germany can win on the World Second War."

Suddenly, we saw something bright shining in the sky...

"Wait," Matt said, "Looketh on yonder clouds! A star shining brightly in the clouds!"

"What?" Storm and Fritz said.

"Matt that isn't a freaking star,!" I yelled, it was a spaceship!

"FUCKING SPACESHIP!" Nicola yelled, "WHAT THE HELL!"

"Shitttt," I said, "Quick, let's go to another time arena!"

"Hey, let's go to the 80's," Storm said, "I like the 80's."

"I like the 80's too Storm," I said, "But I cannot control where the time machine goes..."

The spaceship shot a lazer around the sky.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT" everyone yelled at the same time.

"Let's get out of here," I said.

And so I pressed the button and we flashed a light and teleported away from the evil spaceship star...


	27. Chapter 27

-Meanwhile in present day, England-

Aiden Grimshaw and Katie Waissel were sitting underground in a World War Two Bunker that was built on World War Two.

"Look around at the destruction outside," Aiden said, "Disorder and chaos are two of my favourite things..."

"Aiden you're so depressing! Meow!" Katie said. She had her hair high to hide her fox ears and was wearing a long blue dress to hiding her fox tail.

ohhh yeah I bet you're wondering now why Katie Waissel has fox ears and a fox tail. Ok, I'll tell you.

-Commence Backflash-

Once upon a time on Britain, there was a fox. It was a British fox. Her name was Katie Waissel.

"Meow!" Katie said.

She had just gotten back from Fox Factor which was like X Factor but for foxes and now she was routing around in the garbage cans like how foxes do.

Suddenly, she saw a golden gold lamp and she brushed it with her tail.

A good Croatian genie popped out.

"Katie Waissel!" said Genie, "You have releasing me from my containment chamber! I owe you a wish!"

And there was only one wish that Katie was wanted.

"...I want to be human so I can enter human X Factor!" Katie said, "Meow!"

"Thine wish is my command," the genie said and Katie started to transform.

But suddenly, before the transformation was complete, the EVIL SERBIAN GOVERNMENT ran out from nowhere and started shooting at the genie.

"Genie noooo!" Katie said and the genie fell to the floor.

"Katie go!" the genie said, "You must go without meee, there is no way for us to fight the Serbian government..."

And so Katie ran off, off into the night...

-End Backflash-

"The bombs outside bring disorder and... Katie, are you even listening?" Aiden asked.

"Oh no, sorry," Katie said (she was thinking back to her time of being a fox) "Meow!"

"Katie why you're always say meow?" Aiden ask.

"Aiden that's none of your business" Katie said, "omg, it's not like I'm a fox or anything. Meow!"

"KATIE" Aiden said, "There's no time for secrets on a time like this!"

"Well... ok... I used to be a fox and I found a genie and wished to be a human, meow!" Katie said.

"Oh ok," Aiden said.

"Meow? You're ok with that? Really?"

"Yeah sure," Aiden said, "With all this other crazy things happening it's not so strange... after all... genies are part of all legends..."

Suddenly, a portal to the past opened up within the World War Two Bunker (it's because of all our time travelling we've broken time or some shit) and it sucked them both inside.

"Nooooo" they both yelled as they got sucked inside the portal...


	28. Chapter 28

-Ok back to us now Katie and Aiden have had enough screen times (spoilerr: they'll be back on story again later lol)-

"What this place?" Nicola asked as we look around.

"Is this past or future?" Fritz asked.

"Silly you two!" I said, "It's past of course!"

"It's... IT'S 80'S!" Storm yelled, "YAY! YAY 80'S"

"I hate the 80's," Nicola said.

"omg Nicola shut up you weren't even born then," Storm replied.

"What are the 80's?" Fritz asked.

"Yea verily, whatever are thast?" Matt also asked.

"80's are a time where everyone plays Rubics Cube and also Arcade," I said.

"80's are deader than discoo," Nicola said.

"NICOLO SHUT UP" Fritz said, "I want learn more about these 80's."

"beep boop" we heard beeping in the distance. It was from an arcade.

Meanwhile, Katie and Aiden had woke up inside the arcade where we were hearing beeps from.

"Katie, wherever we are?" Aiden asked.

"I'm not know, meow," Katie replied.

"SHUT UP YOU TWO WERE PLAYIN AT PACMAN" shouted some nerds in the corner who had been playing pacman and tetris all day.

Meanwhile we had gone inside the arcade.

We saw Aiden and Katie.

"omg Katie!" Storm yelled (he knows Katie cos he saved her from hunters back when she was a fox and took her to the fox sanctuary. He also knows her secret of being a fox. Oh yeah and by the way Storm can talk to certain animals like foxes and shit (not Lions though, those things are fucking savage!)))

"Storm!" Katie yelled, "Meow!"

"Oh my!" Aiden yelled, "Crystal, it's YOU!"  
"Yes it is me" I said happily, "I see you are also in the 80's!"  
"Yes..." Aiden said, "I wonder how we got here..."

"There are damages in time," Storm said, "All thanks to Belle Amie's time machine."

"This all their fault!" Nicola shouted, "All because Belle Amie want get more votes, they ruin time for everyone!"

"Oh yeah by the way Germany's won World War Two now" I said.

"WHAT?" Katie and Aiden shouted (they're upset cos they're British lol)

"Let's forget about that now," Nicola said, "And play on arcade games.!"

"Ok," Storm said, "I bet I will win because I'm good at the 80's!"

"Please teacheth me to play these whimsical devices, Crystal" Matt said to me.

"Ok" I said and so we sat around in arcade and play on games.


	29. Chapter 29

"Yeaaah I win againn!" Storm shouted as he won at Pacman for the 20th time in a row.

We all had less than 400 points at the Pacman game except Storm cos he scored like 50000000 points.

"Booooo" Nicola said, "It's not fair that you have an advantage at the 80's!"

"Yea, I am from another time period and I cannot possibly be expecteth to concieve the victory?" Matt said. (I'd taught Matt to play at Pacman but still we couldn't beat Storm!)

"omggg you two are just jealous!" Storm said, "Because I am better at Pacman and Tetris than you!"

"Perhaps Storm, but I am better than thou at other things!" Matt said.

"lol you guys," I said, "Stop arguing over a little kids game!"

"Yeah, meow!" Katie agreed, "There are more important things to have concern over! Like we're see you all again! It's good to see you again Storm!"

"It's good to see you too Katie," Storm smiled.

"You know what else is good," Aiden said, "If someone would explain at us, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"Aiden don't shout at me or we will go and leave you on the 80's" I said.

"But I don't like the 80's!" Aiden said sadly.

"Will you all stop bashing the 80's!" Storm yelled, "This is my TIME ARENA!"

"lol sorry," Aiden said.

"WILL YOU LOT GET OUT FROM OUR ARCADE," the nerds in the corner who were trying to beat high score at pacman were yelling at us cos we made them lose on the game (hahaha nerds you lose at game)..

And so we all left the arcade station and left the nerds to recite star war trek or whatever it is nerds do.

We walked on to the road and there was radios everywhere cos in the 80's hardly anyone had TV cos they were in a great depression.

"I wish for TV" Aiden said.

"No Aiden," Katie said, "There are no TV as the world is going through GREAT REPRESSION, meow." (Katie always says meow when she talks cos she's a fox but it does kinda ruin the mood of what she's saying a bit doesn't it lol)

"I like DEPRESSION" Aiden laughed, "Chaos and Dissarray bring happiness to me.!"

"Aiden you sour lemon!" Storm said.

"Yeah Aiden, Storm's right your so damn depressing!" Nicola said.

"LOL stop argueing, meow," Katie said, "I hate the 80's so can Crystal... can you teleport us to another time frame?"

"I cannot choose which time we travel on," I said sadly.

"Well then spin the wheel and take a chance! It's lucky guess!" Katie said, "Meow!"

"Oh... alright then," I smiled and pushed the button and a blue light encircled us and we travelled in time yet again.


	30. Chapter 30

We woke up and there were Swedish flags every where.

"Hey," Storm said, "Looks like we're in Sweden! I like Sweden!"

"Yeah," Nicola said, "Well I HATE Sweden, damn Swedes!" (Sweden and Italy fighted on World War Two and there is still a lot of bad feeling about it I think.)

Katie was still trying to hide her fox tail behind her dress (lol wtf Katie this is my story I know everything about you so don't try to fool me or you'll get PLAYED)!

"Katie!" Aiden said, "Stop trying to hide your animal gestures!"

"Quiet now Aiden!" Katie yelled, "Meow!" (she doesn't want people to think she's a fox or people might think less of her lol, Aiden, Storm and me know anyway so YOU'RE NOT HIDING IT VERY WELL)

"Vat everyone is talking about?" Fritz asked (he was still anoyed cos he lost at Pacman and everyone knows Pacman was built with Nazi technolology)

Anyway then some Swedes came along and they were playin ABBA really loud on a big boom box.

"WATERLOO" the Swedes sang in our face.

"Fuck Eurovisoin, Eurovision sucks" I said (hahaha take that Silverhelsinki I know you left a shit review on my stories. Don't leave a bad review on my stories or you'll get FLAMMED! How fuckin dare you attack my stories when all your are about Eurovision you fucking Finnnish twat. No one fucking like thes Eurovision. Nearlly everyone else left anonymous reviews, wtf. If you're brave enough to post on my story with a real ff account, then prepare to be flammed. also I reported all your stories cos your not allowed to have real people on your stories so STFU)

"Yeah I hate Eurovision also," Nicola said (that's why Italy left it.)!

So anyway the Swedes were all bouncin about getting all up in our personal space when Storm ask:

"Excuse me, but what year it is?"

"Is 1974," the Swede replied, "Bork borgen"

"Oh no I hate the 70's," Nicola said.

Suddenly, Swedes starting surrounding us.

"Why the fuck are Swedens surrounding us?" I yell.

"Well," Storm said, "We are in the middle of an ABBA concert!"

OH SHIT I JUST NOTICED WE WERE IN A STADIUM ARENA AND ABBA WERE ON CONCERT

"Fuck YES!" I yelled, "This is rare opputunty for US!"

"No," Katie said, "I hate ABBA, they suck. Let's go and try time machine again! Meow!"

"FUCK OFF YOU FOX CREATURE" I said and Katie went all sad.

"What the FUCK Crystal!" Storm yelled, (he's Katie's friend lol) "What THE FUCK are you INSULTING KATIE FOR?"

"lol Storm don't get all defenses around your girlfriend," Nicola said.

"WTF Nicolo!" Storm yelled, "She's not my girlfriend because I'm gay!"

"oh ok," I said, "But foxes are all the same gender right?"

"Crystal you fucking idiot," Katie screamed, "MEOW! I HATE YOU!"

And Katie and Storm ran off.

"Wait!" I yelled but they were already out of sight in the crowd of people in the ABBA Concert.

"Let's go without them lol" Aiden laughed.

"Yeah let's do that," Nicola agreed.

"...no wait guys," I said, "We can't just leaving them... we must go after!"

"Yes," Matt said, "If thou hadn't come back for me Crystal, I would not know where mine path would taketh! We must go yonder forth and retrieve our companions!"

"See?" I said, "Matt's on my side!"


	31. Chapter 31

And so we went to look for Katie and Storm but they were not no where!

"Hellooo," Nicola said to police officer, "We are look for Katie Waissel and Storm Lee? We cannot find!"

BUT THE POLICE OFFICER WAS A SWEDE

"BORK BORGEN!" the Swede Police officer shouted at us, "TANGEN TORGEN!"

"Fuck this sucks," I yelled.

"VAT IS EVERYONE moaining about?" Fritz said, "It's a sunny shine day!"

"Yes," Aiden said, "Today is a fine day, and we do not need Katie or Storm so let's leave without them"

"Shut the FUCK UP AIDEN," Nicola yelled, "Storm's my friend you don't even know him you twat!" (he's lived on Britain a long time so he picks up British word like twat and mog)

"Yeah Aiden stop being depressing or we'll leave YOUUUUU behind in the 70's!" I yelled.

"But I don't like the 70's" Aiden said.

"Shut the fuck up then," Nicola said.

And suddenly we went past a forest and we heard a shouting from inside.

"HEEELP" it was Storm and Katie.

And we walked over to the place where we heard the shouting.

"Fuck them ok let's go now," Aiden wanted to go back to X-Factor cos he thought he would win (he's gettin voted out though- shhh- he doesn't know, i'm the author, not him).

"I thought you were friends with Katie man," I said.

"Not any more since when I discovered she is part animal!" Aiden said.

"All people are part animals you cunting Brit!" I yelled.

"NO ONE CARES," yelled Storm, "COME HELP US!"

"lol where's that shouting coming from," Nicola said.

"FROM IN SIDE THE TREE OVER HERE YOU DUMB FUCK," Katie yelled from the distance, "MEOW! COME TO TREE! MEOW!"

And we went up to the tree but there were all dogs and hunters surrounding the tree and shit.

"We will get THOU FOX," yelled one of the hunters, "And you shall be desecrated with TEA AND SCONES!" (he's a british hunter but flew to Sweden cos foxes run wild on Swedish Streets).

"Yea verily," another hunter said, "Old chaps, get thine guns!"

"No!" I yelled, "Leave them alone you fucking Brits!"

Suddenly, BANG BANG BANG!

All the Brit hunters fell to the ground because they were dead.

"You left me behind, and now I have to show up and save your sorry asses!"... it was Marko!

He was holding another gun.

"And you stole my fucking gun Fritz," Marko growled.

"Entschuldigung," Fritz said (that's Germany for sorry I looked it up lol).

"I DON'T SPEAK WAR," Marko yelled, "AND DO NOT STEAL FROM MY THINGS EVER AGAIN!"

"Really very sorry," Fritz was sad.

Katie and Storm came out of the tree.

"Hey," Storm said, "Thanks for-"

"Thanks for nothing you cunts," Marko yelled (he's proper mad lol), "You abandoned me in the Roman Times! I have had to live through thousand's of years until I came to this point! I had to go through fucking first world war, fucking second world war, fucking napoleon war, fucking fuck shit, you assholes left me to rot in the roman times, you never even came to fuking look. And where the fuck is Michael Buble? You fucking ask?"

"I'm here," Michael smiled.

"Oh fuck off you Canadian cunat," Marko snapped.

"Hey Crystal," Michael said.

"Hey Canada it's been a lot of years, so let's get over it right Michael?" I said.

"Yeah sure, why not," Michael laughed, "It's been fun going through all the time travelling and shit."

"Y...Yeah but..." Storm said, "How come you've been doing that for thousands of years? That doesn't make any sense-"

"Shut up yank," Marko said (he's pissed off, you don't like we Croatians when we're pissed LOL) , "It's because Belle Amie put immortality potion in their time machine which made sure we were doomed to live through history!"

"Alright Crystal," Michael said, "How about we go back to the present, hmm?"

"Nah," I said, "The time machine has been damaged so we can't choose where it goes."

"Oh I see," Michael said sadly, "That is shame."

"I don't give a shit you limey beanbag," Marko said, "I've waiting too long for this," and he took the time machine from me and pushed the button and we all teleported to another time...


End file.
